Trial To Suicide

Yes ! Last night I do the stupid2 things . I try to kill myself with the way cut my left hand.. Oh hurt ! It is not the best way . Then I try to cut it second time .. Why there ' s no respons to me ? I'm not feel sick or whatever that time .. Then in the same time , I see there ' re a lot of blood fully covered my left hand .. Oh God ! Why be like this ?? Am I already getting crazy just because of a boys ?? No8 .. But that's right and I never accept it as fact .. Yes , last night I also try for the second ways of suicide .. I cover my face with a pillow .. I'm having a difficulity to breath .. Yeay that ' s what that I want .. But in the same time too , I think about what will happen the next .. Died?? Yes!! I having a hard ill on my left hand right now .. I annoyed it .. Arghh but I ' ve lost capable to maintain my live . My hand already as white as sheet .. Pale !! That 's what that I can say that time ..My obduracy was down .. My sickness was conspicous .. Now I realised .. It's the big mistake that I have done to my life .. Now I suffer after what that I have done to myself.. Oh God I'm sorry for the stupid plan that happen tonight ..

Having a strong sickness on my left hand right now.. :(